Holding Steady

This is just to let you all know that my lovely wife is holding steady. Some anxious moments yesterday, and now its 1:49 in the morning and she is still up being busy. Maybe that is okay for now, it is good to get really tired and then have a better sleep right now. Tomorrow is Friday and that means the op should finally be happening and that has to be a good thing.

I'm Back!

Firstly please, forgive me for such a long post but I really would appreciate it if you would read it to the end as it has not been an easy task to do and has taken far more time to write than it takes to read!

Well it's been almost six years since my last post on this blog and I honestly thought it would probably be my last! Even though over time things start to fade and become distant memories, memories that once upon a time were so huge they consumed your every waking thought. Over time you begin to feel safer and bit by bit, slowly at first you start to pick up the pieces of your life that was, at one time so ordinary, just the day to day normal stuff we all do all of the time because, you just want to be NORMAL again!  When something like this affects your life and turns your whole world upside down, you may after some time start to feel more comfortable again with your everyday living, although somewhere lurking it is still there, buried in the back of your mind and every now and then something may happen.

You  may hear a piece of music, see something on TV, maybe an advertisement, you may hear of someone else's diagnosis or you may get a slight pain, that at one time you wouldn't have even given a second thought to and you tell yourself  "It will be ok, it'll be nothing, everything will be fine, stop worrying!" Then you carry on happily appreciating all you have and thinking how lucky you are! You celebrate your life and feel thankful for all the lovely people you have around you to share these wonderful times with. You feel a great sense of enjoyment in being able to share your happiness with others.

I guess by now you have probably realised the reason why I would now be writing a new post after all this time. Most of you will already know the answer. Unfortunately on 25th February 2015, after being almost six years cancer free! I was diagnosed with a recurrence of breast cancer! From that point forward everything changes. Plans are put on hold. "Normal" living is put on hold! Priorities change and hospital appointments, along with tests, scans, biopsies and results pretty much take over your almost every thought and your day to day living. All this happens while you try your best to carry on as "normally" as you possibly can with family, work and home.

It has been a long, two months from diagnosis and I personally think I have been quite strong and coped reasonably well although, over more recent weeks, I have struggled; more so over the last couple of weeks as certain events have just proved a bit too much for me to deal with. I am so grateful to everyone around for their kind support family, friends, colleagues and also to the great support and understanding of Nick's colleagues and employers at The Tenet Group. Nick as ever is always there for me every step of the way. He is pretty amazing, always by my side with his never ending unconditional love for me! Nick is the most special, kind and exceptionally wonderful, thoughtful person anyone could meet and I feel so proud to have him for my husband and soul mate.


The truth is it would have been easier for everyone reading if I had of started this particular post a couple of months ago! That way maybe it would have been several smaller posts over a period of time rather than one long post as it is now turning out to be. ( I hope this will not put readers off and I will do my best to write shorter posts in the future. ) I really just feel there was so much to say to help you understand part of how I have felt. It has been extremely difficult for me to get this initial post written. It has also been a very mentally painful and emotional challenge having to tell family, friends and colleagues. The tremendous pressure emotionally that it puts you under, simply because you don't want to upset the people you love and care about, worrying about the effects your news will have on all those around you.

Heartfelt thanks to those who managed to read this far x x

My intention is to write further posts ( shorter ones, so don't worry,)  to enable family, friends, colleagues etc. as a means of keeping informed when at times it may be difficult for us to have to repeat things over and over, which can become emotionally difficult.