First week into cycle number two

Last Monday assessment went well and the next day hospital started at 11am at the Robert Ogden Centre with a wig fitting! Yes, I had so little hair at this point that it was decided it would be best to shave the little that remained off so a lovely lady at Robert Ogden took the shears and very caringly shaved away the little that was left. Once it was done I felt so much better as now it would save the continued stress and embarrassment of the hair dropping out around everywhere I walked or sat. The lady was so very patient and understanding to my feelings and I felt very cared for and looked after. Then it was over to Bexley wing ready for chemo round two. After a delay of a couple of hours as they needed to wait for my blood results from assessment day it was all soon underway and went on without a hitch. Getting away at around 4pm it was time to head home after another long day.

The first week has gone well and I have felt well with no major side effects to worry about although the last three days I have not had too much sleep and have been feeling quite tired. District nurses have been calling to observe me self administering my injections and it was agreed they would be happy to leave me to do them alone now without being present. So yesterday I went solo and managed well on my own although 10 minutes later a knock on the door and a district nurse had arrived only for me to say I'd already successfully managed it and explained the agreement was that I was to be independent with my injections. Obviously a lack of communication and she left happy that today I would be left to be independent! 

Next visit from the district nurses should be Tuesday when they come to flush and dress my picc line. So for now all is good and I'm feeling well. 

Poor Nick on the other hand was not feeling very well at all and most unlike him he spent most of the day in bed. Today he is feeling somewhat better and has now gone off to his allotment which he has just recently acquired with the idea of planting and growing healthy fresh fruit and vegetables minus the chemicals in the hope of keeping us all in good health, he's so lovely and tries to do everything he can to look after me, I really am so very lucky to have someone who cares so much.

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Bad hair day! Bad day!

Sorry but I'm not exactly feeling at my best today which has resulted in me not feeling like getting dressed and staying in bed all day! On the physical side I seem to be fairing reasonably well, yes I have had a few side effects but on the whole they have not been too troublesome and have managed them well. 

It's more the emotional side of things that have over the last week proved quite difficult to deal with at times and although I have tried to remain positive it's all been a bit like a ride on the Big Dipper. This has left me at times feeling alienated, isolated and basically pretty worthless.

 

With the added emotions of dealing with the hair loss it has been a difficult week that I have worked hard to overcome but has ended up getting the better of me! This has resulted in me not wanting to go out and to top it off at the moment I feel ugly too! 

Even so I will try to keep smiling and I know this is just a small part of this journey and I will be ok because with the help, love, understanding and support of the most important person in my life I know that My wonderful husband Nick will always be right by my side giving me the strength and self belief to get us through the tougher moments! 

I think this is probably the most negative post I have ever written and I apologise now if it comes across as feeling sorry for my self, maybe at the moment I do! I like to keep my blog positive, light hearted and with some humour where I can but I also think it's quite important to be honest too! 

I'm sure these feelings won't stay around for too long and hopefully I will be back to my happy self again, please don't stop reading and even better please comment as I am always happy to see people commenting on my posts! I will try to make the next post more positive! Thanks for taking the time to read. Sorry!

Look good feel better

One of the nicer experiences of cancer, if you can say that is places like this.  First here is a little bit of information to tell you something about The Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre Leeds which is situated in the grounds of St. James Hospital.

0. The Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre
   The Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre is an environment where patients and their families can drop in for a drink, some time out or just a chat. The Centre also offers a variety of support services for patients and their families including;
   Touch therapies
   • Massage
   • Reflexology
   • Aromatherapy
   • Indian head massage
   • Hand and foot massage (also available in Bexley Wing via the Information
   Lounges)
   Energy therapies
   • Reiki
   • Cranio sacral therapy • Spiritual healing
   
   
   Support to improve body image/self esteem
   • Facials, colour analysis, makeovers and manicures • Bra fitting and pocket sewing service
   • Hair loss support worker
   • Head Art Therapy - hats and scarves
   Psychosocial support
   • Relaxation and Visualisation • One to one Support
   • Art therapy
   • Counselling
   • Support Groups
   • Self help Courses
   Most services are also available to patients on the wards and all are free to anyone affected by cancer; patients, relatives and carers. Open Monday to Friday 10am-4pm.
   For appointments or information contact:
   The Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre Tel: 0113 206 6498
   or email: cancerpatientinformation@leedsth.nhs.uk
   We are based directly behind the Thackray Medical Museum, with parking available please ask at the reception for a parking permit.
   
   As you see this provides all kinds of services to cancer patients and their families /  
   carers and what's more is that it's a charitable organisation so accessing it it free with free parking too! 
   
   
   As I have said in a previous post I have already benefitted from a couple of the services which they provide. I attended a hairloss workshop and also had my hair cut there in preparation for chemotherapy. 
   
   

   

   Now what I wanted to tell you about was that I had the opportunity a couple of days ago to attend an afternoon workshop called Look Good, Feel Better. 
   
   This was an afternoon of being with other ladies who are all at various stages of treatment for cancer and having an afternoon using different beauty products demonstrated by the facilortaters who were running the course. 
   

   
   

   
   I think it fair to say that by the end of the afternoon everyone seemed pleased with the final results and to add to the good feeling we were each given a bag of branded named products to take away and keep free of charge. 
   

   
   

   I myself came away feeling better and a bit more confident about myself despite the fact that my hair is rapidly diminishing!

   Thank you to Robert Ogden and Macmillan! 

   
   
   
   

Hair today! Gone tomorrow?

Day Eleven

Well, it's started! Day ten after the first round of chemo I noticed more than the odd strand of hair sitting upon my clothes and the next day more than the usual amount of hair in my hairbrush! 

After gently washing my hair that evening whilst having a shower more of my lovely hair washed away down the plug hole! I must find that strainer I bought to go over the plug hole otherwise we could have problems with the plumbing!

Day Twelve

The following morning, day twelve and the loss of hair from brushing is quite a bit more although to look at me it is not yet noticeable. 

I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on to what I have but for now I feel ok and everyone is telling me how well I look! I can tell myself that my hair has already lost that healthy shine and only after a couple of days after washing it has a limp greasy look to it. 
For now I'm going to enjoy having my hair, at least for a while anyway :)

Just thought I would update this post with a new photo. This evening when getting ready for bed this is what came out tonight. I was thinking of washing my hair tomorrow but I'm afraid if I do I might wash it all away! 

I'd say that it isn't noticeable to look at me but I can definitely feel that it is much thinner!

Time to get sewing

Nick got me a lovely sewing/embroidery machine for Christmas and I booked myself onto a beginners sewing class and was eager to get to grips with the basics of sewing. With the course set to begin in February we then had the diagnosis that my cancer was back! Although I did then attend the first couple of sessions despite all the hospital appointments and tests to find out exactly how I was effected, it did get to a point where I was unable to complete the course.

So with the very limited sewing knowledge that I have I decided that now would be a good time to have a little go to try to make something simple but useful too.

Now, when they insert your picc line they give you a length of tubular bandage to put over your arm to cover the picc line to prevent you catching it. The bandage soon starts to fray at each end where it's been cut off the roll, quickly becomes grubby and basically doesn't look very attractive at all. 

As I am to have the picc line for around four and a half months and during that time of going through chemotherapy and all of it's side effects, I recognise the fact that I'm not going to feel 100% all of the time. So anyway I came up with this idea with the help of my son Dean, to make something pretty to cover the picc line to save it getting caught on anything. 

I ordered some wide stretch lace trim, wide enough to cover the

picc line. All I needed to do was to cut the length I required to go around my upper arm without being too tight and making sure I had enough extra to allow for the seam. Next I just needed to sew one seam to create a tubular shape and I could then place the finished sleeve over my picc line. 

It's amazing what may seem to be such a small thing can at times like this make you feel so much better about yourself! 

Let the chemo begin!

With eight weeks post surgery and everything healing well they gave the official go ahead to begin chemotherapy. There are many many types of chemotherapy each having some not very pleasant side effects to have to endure. The oncologists tailor your treatment to your unique individual needs in my case this time they will be administering a single drug known as docetaxel. This would be a different regime of chemotherapy to what I was given six years ago which was a combination of two drugs called EC90.

Follow the link below for more information.
Docetaxol (taxotere) 

Treatment was to start at 1pm so arriving at 12:45 as requested. This time there was to be no cold cap as I had opted out on this occassion, it may work for some and I know this time it's a different sort of chemo but my experience of trying to hold onto my hair last time turned out to be quite unsuccessful and very much an unpleasant procedure, which I would willingly endure if the rates of success were to fair better!

I was all booked in and shortly after was shown to my seat. With my picc line at the ready there would be no anxious moments of them struggling to get a good vein or the need to insert a cannula! I was good to go! Just like having a USB port all they needed to do was to connect me up! 

First job was a drip to flush the picc line, this didn't take long at all and then I was ready for the next drip. This would be an anti sickness drug to help prevent nausea one of the side effects from the chemo.This took about 15 minutes to go through then a bag containing the docetaxel was hung up and covered with a black bag to prevent the light getting to it as this one is light sensitive. I was connected up to it again through my picc line and this was to take about an hour to go through. 

With various medications to take at specific times some starting 24 hours before chemo, others that needed to be started 24 hours after chemo and with the district nurses booked to start administering and teaching me how to self administer Filgrastim injections ( these injections are to boost the white blood cells) I'm happy to say that apart from the fact that I have only had 21 hours sleep in the course of a week and suffered some constipation due to the medications side effects, the first week after my first chemo has gone very well.

Sunday evening I missed a dosage of painkillers as I was feeling fine and the aching in my joints (side effects of the Filgrastim injections) was just in the background. Hopefully I have learned and I won't be doing that again as in the early hours of Monday morning I suffered chronic pain throughout the whole of my body, it was horrendous, I can only describe that it felt like my entire body was being crushed! At 4am I made myself some porridge as the painkillers are to be taken with food! Gladly after about 40 minutes the pain slowly began to subside and with medications taken I had managed to get back on top of things. 

A friend had arranged a lunch date with me for the following afternoon which I had been looking forward to and I wasn't going to let a missed dose of meds spoil things! We had a lovely afternoon together, it's such a boost to see different faces and have time out!

Getting prepared for chemo cycle round one!

With the birthday treats over it was now time again for yet more hospital appointments and this was to begin the very next day firstly with a hair cut at the Robert Ogden Centre followed by the procedure of having my picc line inserted. I was to say the least somewhat apprehensive about this procedure and with also thinking about the prospect of having my hair cut short that morning in perpetration of losing my hair due to the chemotherapy I did not sleep too well the night before.

A PICC line is a long, thin, flexible tube known as a catheter. It is inserted into one of the large veins of the arm near the bend of the elbow. It is then threaded into the vein until the tip sits in a large vein just above the heart.

If you'd like to know more about picc lines just click the link below!

1. 
   

   
   

   PICC lines (peripherally inserted central catheters
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   Before

   We arrived at the Robert Ogden Centre in the grounds of St. James hospital at 8:15 am The Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre gives support and information to patients and their families, providing workshops, drop ins and relaxing treatments and already I have had the benefit of a hair loss workshop which proved to be very informative, friendly and supportive. 
   It was here where I was booked
   In with one of the hairdressers for my new hair cut. 

   

   After

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   
   With the first stage done we then needed to be over at the Bexley Wing for 9am ready for the Picc line procedure. They were really lovely and made me feel so much more at ease. Everything was explained to me and I was then prepared for the forth coming procedure. It looked like an operation was about to be performed as the doctor prepared herself before beginning just as she had explained although it appeared that way it was really just procedure and all about making everything safe and sterile as it was to be done only with a local anaesthetic! All my anxiety had been for nothing the procedure took about 40 minutes from start to finish and to be really honest the most I felt was a scratch when she marked where it should go in, followed by the needle to give the local anaesthetic a few seconds after that I honestly did not feel anything unpleasant and when it was all finished the most I had was a slight ache around my inner arm which only lasted for a few hours. 
   

   

   My picc line all done

                    
   After other people to see before we left, X-rays and further blood tests we were given 
   a bag of goodies to take home from the hospital along with another collection of medication from the hospital pharmacy. The end of a very long day we finally left for home around 4:15 pm.
   

   

   Information and supplies for my picc line.
   District nurses to come once a week to flush line and  redress

   
   
   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   

   More medication!