Sometimes we all need a helping hand to keep us feeling strong!

A shower of flowers

How lovely to have been thought of by so many caring friends and family during my time of recovery

Post chemo cycle six and feeling crap!

Each of my cycles of chemotherapy have been scheduled at three weekly intervals.

Why you have chemotherapy in cycles

All the treatment you are offered is based on years of research. The combination of drugs your doctor suggests will be the best of all those tested. The drugs aim to kill the cancer cells while causing as little harm as possible to normal, healthy cells. You have chemotherapy as a course of treatments over a few months because  

• It allows the chemotherapy to kill more cancer cells
• The rest between treatments allows your body to recover from any side effects

At any one time, some of the cancer cells will be resting. Chemotherapy only attacks cells that are in the process of splitting into two (dividing). So resting cells will not be killed. Some of the cancer cells that were resting during your first treatment will be dividing by the time your second comes around and so they will be killed off. Normal cells usually repair the damage from chemotherapy more effectively than cancer cells, so damage to cancer cells should progressively build up without causing permanent damage to normal cells. There is more about this in the section about how chemotherapy works.

The effects of chemotherapy are cumulative and I would say there has been a noticeable drop in my energy levels particularly since chemo number three although between the rest periods I have felt energy levels return although more slowly with each cycle. After number five I haven't felt that I've had chance to regain strength, energy or fitness before they administered number six!

Six days post chemo number six and I have probably felt at my worst throuout the whole treatment with ongoing side effects becoming much more severe. The weekend has left me completely drained with a lack of energy to the extreme of having great difficulty in even claiming the stairs to bed and having to resort to getting up half way and having to continue on hands and knees! 

Conversation and the ability to understand and make decisions can feel like a quest in itself including following the thread of a conversation, and retrieving words. A difficulty multitasking, comprehending what i've just read and with simple tasks becoming increasingly more difficult to concentrate on!

The last four nights have been nights of sleep deprivation, spending the last two nights mostly in the bathroom sat upon the toilet going from constipation to diarrhoea! Yes, sorry, not what you may want to be reading but these are the facts and I want to be honest in telling it how it really is, not very pleasant I know and I can tell you it hasn't been pleasant for me either!

I had an appointment today at the lymphoedema clinic at St. James hospital and first thing this morning with the way I felt honestly didn't think I would be able to make it but with determination and the fantastic support of my wonderful, amazing husband I was, with a great effort able to attend!

Mystery flowers solved

'm happy to say the mystery of the anonymous delivery of this beautiful bouquet of flowers has now been solved. The flowers were sent by my mother and father in law, Eileen & Barry and I have now been able to thank them personally! 

What's more I have also learned that the purchase of this particular bouquet of flowers from M&S means that a percentage of the price is donated to breast cancer too!

A beautiful bouquet. Thank you Eileen & Barry x x

The Ribbon

This is Charlotte Halley. Maybe an unfamiliar face but she is the person who introduced the ribbon into the "fight" (not my favourite term) against cancer, but not in the way you might think. For her, the ribbon was a symbol of her protest AGAINST  The National Cancer Institute in America because she had found out that less than 5% of its massive budget was actually used for the benefit of those with cancer. Her ribbon was peach and she held on to it. She would not allow it to be used as a commercial promotion, so lawyers advised a change of colour. And the colour chosen was pink. But let us never forget Charlotte and her protest still valid today. 

I would like to see legislation passed making it illegal to raise funds for charity without prominently displaying the number of pennies that goes to the end user/ the cause, for every pound paid. 

Beautiful gifts of flowers

How lovely to be thought of with beautiful gifts of flowers! After finishing a gruelling four month regime of chemotherapy.

Firstly from my breast sister Sharon I have received a card from her arriving a day or two before each of my chemos, a fantastic surprise weekend vist travelling all the way up from Wiltshire before having chemo number six and then a further surprise of a delivery of flowers timed perfectly the day after completing chemo along with a card which she had left to be handed to me on her behalf.

Flowers from Sharon

My next flowers were hand delivered this morning from a friend and colleague I have had the pleasure of many times, since soon after my operation back in May! Donna has been a great friend with regular visits of support. 

Flowers from Donna

Now onto my mystery flowers, a beautiful bouquet which I was thrilled to take delivery of also today. Unfortunately there was no details of the sender, such a shame as I would really like to thank them personally but have no idea who it could be! Perhaps they may see this blog and realise they had left the card that came with the flowers blank! Whoever you are I'd really like to say thank you they are beautiful as you may be able to see! 

Mystery flowers
Who could it be?

One dozen

I'm happy to say that on Tuesday 13th October I completed yet another course of chemotherapy! Twelve rounds in six years! 2009 was my first regime which began in January and consisted of six cycles three weekly of EC90 that was a combination of two drugs ( Epirubicin & cyclophosphamide ) 

My second regime of chemotherapy  after my reaccurrance this year which I began in June 2015 consisted of six cycles of Docetaxel

Cycle  six of Docetaxel

After achieving my five year mark and celebrating, then further going on to being six years cancer free and beginning to become more confident about putting this all behind me it was yet another wake up call to not becoming complacent about this awful disease!

I really don't want to have to go through this all again and am hoping and praying that from here on I will stay cancer free! Wouldn't that be great! So let's hope this is it, my real road to recovery! 

Having already made some healthy life style changes after the first diagnosis, perhaps it wasn't enough?! After a second diagnosis I have already made more healthy lifestyle choices and in my recovery am even more determined to make many more! I really don't want to repeat another journey like this! 

Talk about all the fun of the fair, I really hate roller coasters and would be completely happy to never have to embark on another one of this magnitude ever again! I now need to try to get back my positivity, gain confidence and strength, hopefully I will get the continued support of everyone all around me to keep me focused in regaining normality and helping me to become the healthy, happy cheerful bubbly person that is still within me! I know I can do it with your help and support! 

Causation by Statistics

Never before have we had so much information. The most expensive bananas in the world are in Australia. I do not know why I need to know that but it was so easy to find out. 
We have pretty pie charts, bamboozling bar charts and excel spread sheets on everything from every angle. My brain hurts! 
And when you start accumulating data, you get the ability to correlate facts and that means that you can draw conclusions. 
I am sure that if we collected data on the colour of people's tea shirts in Asda, and their buying habits, we would soon discover that if you put on a white tea shirt, you are more likely to purchase bananas than apples, but that the incidence of people buying apples, increases when they wear a red tea shirt. Or can it be that our fruit diet affects our choice of clothing?

This week we have been told that the taller you are, the higher the risk that you will get cancer! An "expert" on TV admitted that the reason for this is not yet known, but perhaps it is because a tall person has more cells to go wrong. Am I buying this explanation? It sounds a bit like saying that any 2 legged men, who want to reduce the  risk of cancer, can do so by having one leg amputated! 
And yet inspite of all this data, and all these correlated patterns, a hospital doctor admitted to us yesterday, that we still do not know why people get breast cancer. (It can't just be height, Mandy doesn't quite make five foot!)

To be honest, I blame computers. It doesn't mean we should, just because we can. 
Anyway, statistics are deceptive. It is true say that world-wide, and in every single country in the world, people on AVERAGE  have less than 2 legs.  Fact.

Oh, and just one more thing, as you read this you should be aware that you can do so because you have an above average number of eyes. And the chances are too, that you have an above average number of legs. 

Visitors!

I love having visitors and thankfully they have been like buses recently last  weekend  we had visits  from a colleague and her lovely fiancé , Shelly & Paul  and we had a lovely relaxing evening  great company and conversation and we even had Nick playing guitar and singing us  a small selection of his original songs which did get one or two of us a little emotional, but in a good way. We need to do this again! 

Also that weekend we had the pleasure of our eldest son who travelled all the way down from Aberdeen on the Thursday evening and stayed until Monday morning! It's always so lovely to see you Dean, so proud of the man you've become and of what you have achieved for yourself. Love you to bits and can't wait to see you again soon.

This weekend I had a surprise visit from my breast sister Sharon and brother in law Andy. II have spoken about Sharon previously on this blog regarding her own journey with breast cancer, she has been a great source of inspiration to me full of great advice and understanding. I'm really happy to tell you all she is now coming up to being TEN YEARS CLEAR! Please can I join your club Sharon? We had a lovely time together and  Saturday evening we were joined by my eldest sister Michelle and  our bro in law Simon. It was lovely to all get together, the boys all went out together to do boys stuff, pub & rugby! Whilst us three girls stayed in and had a lovely time catching up relaxing all cosy at home! 

On the Sunday friends, Ross & Debbie called across from York to spend a couple of hours with us, it was lovely to meet up again and catch up, I feel so pleased and cared for that so many people make such an effort to come and spend their valuable time with us. It will be lovely to see you both again.

Later on Sharon did an excellent job of cooking a delicious Sunday roast with her trusty assistant, the wonderful Nick by her side, I was sent to sit down feeling quite guilty but also recognising that I was struggling with my breathing and joint pains in my legs, I knew I really did need to just be able to sit down. It's not always easy to accept help but sometimes it's the right thing and there are times when you just need to step back and be thankful it's on offer! The weekend went so quick and early Monday morning Nick kindly drove Sharon and Andy to the train station for their 08:11 train. Then for us yet another appointment in pre assessment with Proffesor Dodwell my oncologist who is in charge of dishing out my "poison" as he calls it!  Bloods taken and picc line dressed ready for my last chemo to go ahead today! Yippee! 

Yesterday late afternoon/ early evening I had the pleasure of another couple of lovely ladies, friends from work, Salma & Jodie. I was so pleased that they had managed to come and even more pleased that they stayed for some time. We had a lovely catch up it was so nice to chat and I felt so lucky they spent so much of their time with me especially as they had both been busy at work all day then on top of that I know Jodie has quite a drive before she gets home so it would have been very late for her. Still it was great they were still here when Nick arrived home, he would have been sorry to have missed them and he could immediately see the lift their visit had given me! It works every time! 

So to anyone reading this, I know it's my last chemo today, but it's not over! There is still 
lots of healing to be done both physically and mentally! I still need your support and if 
you have any free time please don't hesitate to get in touch I'd be really pleased to see you and would always welcome friendly faces! Don't be shy even if you haven't yet been one of my visitors so far it's never too late and it would be lovely to see some new faces so come on surprise me! It's great for my recovery!

All visitors welcome!

Tablets

Mandy has never been one for taking tablets and I have to agree with her, if you can get by without taking a tablet, then don't take a tablet. It has been this way for years. Now she is making up for it. She needs to do what she is ordered to do. So how many tablets of different types,  has she been prescribed to take tomorrow? 

Answer = 30

Starting from far right to left, morning, lunch, dinner, bedtime!

That's right, you read that right, 30

Thank you Carol Galloway

Well nearly there now. 

Today is the last pre chemo blood check. Mandy in true Mandy style has taken down all the numbers so she knows how the chemo has affected all the various levels. 
It would be quite remiss not to give the very lovely Carol Galloway a mention. She has been absolutely fantastic, always with a friendly smile and reassuring voice answering all of Mandy's questions and going the extra mile to make sure that Mandy is well looked after.  Mandy feels safe with any treatment she has received from Carol, and it is a big thank you from me too because I have also felt so much more relaxed knowing Carol has everything in hand.

Mandy calls Carol the " the Queen of pic lines" 

Nearly Through Chemo

5 down and one to go. That should happen next week. Ok it has been an increasingly steep hill to climb and legs are hurting, breathing is hard work and it's tough. But the top of the hill is in sight, and then the ground should start to flatten out, and gradually the breathing and everything else  should get easier. 

Mandy has been surprising us with her knitting skills, a rabbit with floppy ears, an elephant in a dress and a snowman. Who knows what will appear next. 

Thank you to everyone who has been there to support Mandy through this climb. It gives her the strength to keep going in good spirits.