Third chemo done, halfway mark! To cool cap or not to cool cap?

Well after weeks of torment as to whether I should or should not carry on with the cap cooling treatment it was a very difficult decision to make. After much discussion with staff on the ward and weighing up all the outcomes, it wasn't until they put the cannula into my hand and started administering the saline drip that I finally decided not to carry on with it. The cool cap treatment is not pleasant but I don't regret giving it a go and had I had a better response with it would have been willing to suffer on with the treatment.

The last experience was more painful than the first time, this was because I had already lost a fair bit of hair. It had thinned quite a bit and I had a fairly wide parting which they had expressed slight concern over my head getting burnt with the cold cap. Since the second chemo and cap cooling treatment hair loss has been considerably more and the concern has been the greater risk of burns to my head and was advised that it would be very painful this time. 

They can't explain why some people have better success with the cap cooling treatment than others, it could be due to different hair types but for me sadly the end result was not looking great and rather than putting myself through it anymore, for what was beginning to look like a lost cause I made my decision and think now I chose the right one.

About a week after the second chemo I started to develop a tightness in the veins in my left arm which is where they administer the drugs, which is one of many of the side effects and as time went on there were occasions where it became quite uncomfortable. 

I didn't realise how painful this would be when they started administering chemo number three! At that point I was glad that I wasn't having the pain of the cold cap along with the pain in my arm. To help things they applied a warm pack to my arm and slowed the chemo down which helped. Again as the two previous occasions while the last bit of the second drug was being given I experienced the stinging of eyes and nose and the onset of a headache. The eyes and nose lasted for a short period of time but the headache stayed throughout the evening although not extreme.

In the photo, me in my cosy warm cap doing a good job of hiding a rapidly balding head and the red cold cap now sitting waiting for the next volunteer!!!

Keep tuning in for more updates and look out for future photos, maybe a picture of the new me!!!!

Recovery!

Hi bloggers and watcher's of bloggers, Ooooooh Arrrrrrrr!

What's been happening in my life? Well Friday I packed our things ready for our trip to Devizes in Wiltshire to spend a couple of days with my sister Sharon. Nick arrived home in the evening and it wasn't too long before he had the car packed and we were on our way. We stopped after a couple of hours for a drink and a bite to eat and arrived at my sisters at 11:15pm it wasn't long before we were in bed and fast asleep.

We had a lovely weekend and although I was quite tired it was nice to see that Sharon was doing well after her operation and was making a good recovery, what a trooper she is! I only wish I could have been more help to her. However I did manage to make a Sunday Roast for everyone, with the help of Nick and Andy, Sharon's husband. Sunday afternoon came far too quickly and it was soon time to have to gather all our belongings together and say our goodbyes. 

We set off for home with me driving and decided to take a break after a couple of hours. Once again on our way with Nick now in the driving seat, we notice that the battery light is flickering and then decides to stay on. After driving for about half an hour we manage to come off the motorway at Donnington Service Station just before the M1, where we called Green flag. We only had about 20 minutes to wait before being rescued. Our poor car was winched onto the back of the rescue vehicle. We climbed into the cab and were brought home to the door by a friendly Green flag man, who said we had done the right thing as we would not have made it home. 

Plans were made for me to take Nick's car into the garage while he took mine to get to work, but it wouldn't start so at the moment it's still sitting where the Green flag man left it!

I have been quite tired since I got back home. I've had an ear infection for which I've had antibiotics prescribed. Although I've now finished them it still feels like my head is under water. My veins in the arm in which they administer the chemo have started to become uncomfortable, I have a cough and my eyes are dry. Otherwise I am fine and I'm due back at the hospital tomorrow for bloods, ECG and pre assessment in preparation for chemo number 3 which I am due to have this Thursday.

A haven retreat

On Wednesday I had the pleasure of taking part in a retreat day at the breast cancer haven centre in Leeds. This consists of a full day of relaxation and meditation within a group of ladies all of whom are dealing with their own breast cancer.

The retreat day usually follows the introduction day which I already did with Cherrie at the end of January. The day after the introduction day I had an appointment at the hospital for my bloods and assessment, so missed the retreat day that followed. So I booked in for the next one. It made no difference, although most of the people there had already met the day before. I, along with a couple of other new ladies was made to feel just as much part of the group as all the rest. It was quite an emotional morning with each of the ladies introducing themselves and all telling their own stories. The great thing was that people felt like they were in an emotionally safe and relaxed environment with others that understood. Where they could express exactly what they felt and knew they were not going to be judged, but listened to by others with an understanding of how they may be feeling. A place where, for a while you don't have to be, "strong!" I had the opportunity to meet with an amazing group of ladies that day, each one with their own lives and stories, but all of them sharing something, ............ an understanding!

Before having breast cancer myself I thought that breast cancer was "breast cancer" and didn't realise or understand that there were so many different types. Since being diagnosed myself I now understand more about breast cancer and the different ways that it can effect each individual person, both physically and emotionally. Each persons breast cancer is as individual as they are, as is each persons treatment regime and everyone has to find a way to cope with it all the best way they can, some may find this easier than others. 

Having a good solid support network is essential. This may be a mixture of home, family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, breast care nurses, telephone support networks, Internet websites, blog sites (like this one, for me has been a fantastic part of my support) and of course breast cancer haven. We are so lucky to have one of these centres here in Leeds as this is only one of three in the whole of the country. Unfortunately for my sister Sharon, living in Wiltshire, breast cancer haven was not an option for her at a time when she could have benefited greatly from the kind of support that breast cancer haven give.

The Leeds haven was only opened in October 2008, lucky for me as I was diagnosed at the end of October 2008 and so have the benefit of being able to make full use of this brand new facility and all that it offers. www.breastcancerhaven.org.uk

How many hats should I Knit!

Well I decided the time has come to get out the knitting needles and knit myself a few hats. So far I have crocheted one hat and knitted three hats of different colours. 

It's worked out quite well, me having my treatment at this time of year. I mean while the weather is cold it's easier to look "normal" being able to wear hats to cover my now balding head!

Here in the picture you can see the three knitted hats I made, modeled by my three beautiful nieces from Norfolk.  

Nick and I went to Norfolk this weekend to visit family which was lovely. It was nice to have a change of scenery and lovely to see everyone. We had a really nice time and I felt really well looked after. 

Sharon my sister, prepares for a further operation!

As some of you may know my sister Sharon was diagnosed with Breast Cancer just over 3 years ago now. 

The picture on the left shows her 3 years ago as she herself was going through her chemotherapy treatment. Standing tall and proudly showing off her bald head.

Top right picture shows Sharon as she is now, hair all grown back with the same happy smile!

I wanted to write this post in support of my sister as she approaches yet another stage in her journey. Sharon is due to go into hospital tomorrow in preparation of her reconstruction surgery, which is to take place on Thursday 5th February. This will be major surgery that will take approximately 8 - 9 hours and about 8 weeks recovery. Sharon has had three years and a lot of thinking in making the decision to go ahead with the operation. 

I would very much appreciate you all in joining me to wish her well for her operation and recovery. Even if you don't personally know her, I'm sure that any messages will help her on her way. So please post your messages of support to my sister on here. Thank you. X

Oh! What a lovely surprise!

Eileen and Barry,

Thank you so much for the flowers, they are beautiful. As you can see they really did cheer me up! I think Disney appreciated them too! Can you see her trying to smell them?

Nick had also brought me some home so I put them all in together! Don't they look lovely!

I think I'm losing my hair! :(

As you all know, I have been increasingly losing my hair despite going through the awful cap cooling treatment. I must admit for first time since I started my treatment Saturday did put me on a bit of a downer! 

My hair has been coming out thick and fast since the last chemo. Still I decided to brave going into town with a big fluffy Russian style hat on, which covered my head pretty well. With Nick by my side we went in search of some hats. I managed to find a couple of nice ones that fit nicely. Also bought a wide head band but that didn't turn out to be wide enough! We went for some lunch but I felt that I couldn't take off my hat during that time so did feel a bit uncomfortable sitting in a restaurant eating my meal with a hat on. Unfortunately I had also forgot to bring my tablets with me so time was against us and by this time anyway I was feeling so tired that we decided to leave for home.

Saturday evening I felt even worse about my hair, I was beginning to feel I'd be better off without it as it was becoming so bad, everywhere I walked or sat I would leave hair behind, whenever I ate hair would end up in my food! I was worse than Disney (our little dog) even she doesn't shed nearly as much hair as that! In fact she hardly ever leaves hair. I'm worse than a dog!!

Being really worried about having to wash my hair, I decided "Right I'm going to wash my hair and if it all comes out, well that will be that and I will accept it!" So there it was, I washed my hair and as I did it was coming out in handfuls. Much more than it ever had and it just kept going. At which point I thought, "Well this is it, I'm going to come out bald!" Well it did stop coming out and once it dried, which didn't take very long at all, I started to feel better and have not yet decided what to do for the best. Since washing it after Saturday night The hair loss seems to have really slowed down now so maybe that's it? I really don't know and will take each day as it comes and if it all goes, then so be it!

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, the photo's were taken soon after my hair had dried. Top left picture I look like a scarecrow! 

Top right picture is to show you what I can't see but I know everyone else can! (A resemblance to Eddie Windass from Coronation Street.) Unless I keep a hat on!

I have been extremely tired this time round, despite this we went to the White Rose Shopping Centre to buy a birthday present that I needed to get, which we did manage to do. 

After having laid on the sofa for the rest of the day after returning home, we then went to bed. I managed to get to sleep but woke at about 3am and then couldn't get back to sleep. Have slept this morning though for a couple of hours and am now feeling much better! 

By the way the snow looks lovely?  Glad I don't need to go out in it though! Happy to be in the warm today.

I hope I haven't made this post too long!